Oh man, Oman?!

When my daughter told me she wanted to study abroad my first thought was, already? I had my eye on her leaving for college but that was still several years away. I was ok with the reality of college because of all the opportunities a college education would bring her and it was still several years in the future. When the idea of studying abroad keep surfacing I was feeling a little more unsettled with the idea but I knew that was more my issue than hers. A few weeks or months in a warm and safe place doing service work and learning about a new culture sounded great and would broaden the view of my daughter. I knew it would take a lot for us as a family to fund an exchange program and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t just headed on a glorified vacation without her family. So when she came to me with news of the YES Abroad program, many of the pieces began to fall into place, except it was for a year and in the Middle East.

YES Abroad exist to counter the stereotypes Americans have about the Middle East, yet here I was stewing in the fears generated by these stereotypes. I knew facing these fears and perhaps untruths was the work I had to do as a parent to ultimately decide whether this was the right move for my daughter. My husband has been a rock of reason through this entire process and together we decided she should apply to YES and just see what comes of it.  One of the biggest reasons I felt confortable with her even applying was that this program is run in conjunction with the Department of State and has been run for seven years now so there is a track record of success. The other reason that this program rose to the top is one of Caillean’s goals was to learn Arabic. We live on a tiny island 30 miles off the coast and I had been trying for years to find a way for her to do this but it just didn’t exist. Having her junior year focus on learning this language and still progressing towards graduation was key. Lastly, everyone I have told about this program and the country my daughter will be living in says, “Where’s Oman?”  I have come to think of that question as a good thing. It’s not a country known for the Arab uprising or disorder and as a parent of a child headed to a place I have never been that is comforting. I have come to find out that Oman is a progressive and stable Middle Eastern country.

The application itself and the things we all learned about our daughter were worth it. Caillean had to think and express clearly things she until this time had only held in her heart. She also had to reach out and get recommendations from teachers for the application. Caillean is very outgoing but it can still be intimidating to ask a teacher half way through your first semester of sophomore year for a recommendation. She learned the importance of following up with teachers and they learned more about her and why the Middle East was of such interest to her.

The application process was carried out in the same way homework is around here. It gets done but isn’t always done in a calm manner using time wisely and the best example of the work you can do. My daughter is a very good student but applications are work, and work, well, it’s work.  Secretly I was hoping that maybe this would slow down the march towards picking this program. No such luck.

Once the application was in I felt a huge sense of relief. The burden was off our shoulders and now we just had to wait. Imagine my surprise when four months later we get an email saying she had been selected as a semi-finalist. I think my first reaction was to cry. Both because I was happy for her but honestly, it was because I knew she would get in to the program and that meant leaving. Up until 3 years ago Caillean had been homeschooled. We have spent a lot of time together and she is someone I love being around. The thought of her half way around the world for a year equaled tears.

The next step was face-to-face interviews in Washington D.C.  I put my 14-year-old daughter on a small plane off the island and trusted that she could navigate airports and get to D.C. She did. I trusted that she would use her time wisely and prepare for her interview well. She did. I trusted she would have a great experience and meet some great kids. She did. I didn’t expect the complete elation in her voice when I spoke to her right after her interview.  Hearing her excitement and total success coupled with the statement “This is the best weekend of my life” stopped my world in its tracks. This is what we raised our daughter for: facing challenges and meeting them with success. She did.  Several weeks later we heard she was accepted as a finalist and will be headed to Oman in the next few months. 

I have been reminded over and over again that this is a great success. I have raised my daughter with roots and wings. She knows who she is and what she wants and it testing her wings to take her vision away from home. I am learning to be ok with that. She has faced amazing obstacles from applying and being one of the 120 semi-finalists selected from a pool estimated to be around 700 to being selected as one of the approximately 65 finalists heading to ten countries. Now the next challenge begins. Life in a foreign country many of us don’t know much about. I am ready to learn more about life through my daughter. She always has been and continues to be one of my greatest teachers.