When my daughter told me she wanted to study abroad my first
thought was, already? I had my eye on her leaving for college but that was
still several years away. I was ok with the reality of college because of all
the opportunities a college education would bring her and it was still several
years in the future. When the idea of studying abroad keep surfacing I was
feeling a little more unsettled with the idea but I knew that was more my issue
than hers. A few weeks or months in a warm and safe place doing service work
and learning about a new culture sounded great and would broaden the view of my
daughter. I knew it would take a lot for
us as a family to fund an exchange program and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t
just headed on a glorified vacation without her family. So when she came to me
with news of the YES Abroad program, many of the pieces began to fall into
place, except it was for a year and in the Middle East.
YES Abroad exist to counter the stereotypes Americans have
about the Middle East, yet here I was stewing in the fears generated by these
stereotypes. I knew facing these fears and perhaps untruths was the work I had
to do as a parent to ultimately decide whether this was the right move for my
daughter. My husband has been a rock of reason through this entire process and
together we decided she should apply to YES and just see what comes of it. One of the biggest reasons I felt confortable
with her even applying was that this program is run in conjunction with the
Department of State and has been run for seven years now so there is a track
record of success. The other reason that this program rose to the top is one of
Caillean’s goals was to learn Arabic. We live on a tiny island 30 miles off the
coast and I had been trying for years to find a way for her to do this but it
just didn’t exist. Having her junior year focus on learning this language and
still progressing towards graduation was key. Lastly, everyone I have told
about this program and the country my daughter will be living in says, “Where’s
Oman?” I have come to think of that
question as a good thing. It’s not a country known for the Arab uprising or
disorder and as a parent of a child headed to a place I have never been that is
comforting. I have come to find out that Oman is a progressive and stable
Middle Eastern country.
The application itself and the things we all learned about
our daughter were worth it. Caillean had to think and express clearly things
she until this time had only held in her heart. She also had to reach out and
get recommendations from teachers for the application. Caillean is very outgoing
but it can still be intimidating to ask a teacher half way through your first
semester of sophomore year for a recommendation. She learned the importance of
following up with teachers and they learned more about her and why the Middle
East was of such interest to her.
The application process was carried out in the same way
homework is around here. It gets done but isn’t always done in a calm manner
using time wisely and the best example of the work you can do. My daughter is a
very good student but applications are work, and work, well, it’s work. Secretly I was hoping that maybe this would
slow down the march towards picking this program. No such luck.
Once the application was in I felt a huge sense of relief.
The burden was off our shoulders and now we just had to wait. Imagine my
surprise when four months later we get an email saying she had been selected as
a semi-finalist. I think my first reaction was to cry. Both because I was happy
for her but honestly, it was because I knew she would get in to the program and
that meant leaving. Up until 3 years ago Caillean had been homeschooled. We
have spent a lot of time together and she is someone I love being around. The
thought of her half way around the world for a year equaled tears.
The next step was face-to-face interviews in Washington
D.C. I put my 14-year-old daughter on a
small plane off the island and trusted that she could navigate airports and get
to D.C. She did. I trusted that she would use her time wisely and prepare for
her interview well. She did. I trusted she would have a great experience and
meet some great kids. She did. I didn’t expect the complete elation in her
voice when I spoke to her right after her interview. Hearing her excitement and total success
coupled with the statement “This is the best weekend of my life” stopped my
world in its tracks. This is what we raised our daughter for: facing challenges
and meeting them with success. She did.
Several weeks later we heard she was accepted as a finalist and will be
headed to Oman in the next few months.
I have been reminded over and over again that this is a
great success. I have raised my daughter with roots and wings. She knows who
she is and what she wants and it testing her wings to take her vision away from
home. I am learning to be ok with that. She has faced amazing obstacles from
applying and being one of the 120 semi-finalists selected from a pool estimated
to be around 700 to being selected as one of the approximately 65 finalists heading
to ten countries. Now the next challenge begins. Life in a foreign country many
of us don’t know much about. I am ready to learn more about life through my
daughter. She always has been and continues to be one of my greatest
teachers.
